5G COVID Zombies Are Real

Published 2024-10-1 by Dr. Doc Dock

A lot of fake news has been spread regarding 5G, COVID-19, and its vaccines. We have recently discovered that there may actually be some truth to these conspiracy theories.

Medical professionals at the University of Moxistan have recently discovered that people whom took any COVID-19 vaccine can actually be turned into zombies via 5G signals. One could argue that people that took the Fauci Ouchi are already zombies but we're talking about actual flesh-eating walking-dead zombies.

Through exhaustive studies of semi-willing participants, we have found a startling discovery regarding the vaccines and the capabilities of 5G.

We conducted this study when we began to notice irregularities in students and staff at UoM. These people were conducting strange behavior such as complaining about social issues, buying overly expensive coffee, and engaging in political arguments on social media. UoM quickly tried to a find a reason for all of this and began questioning these people. However, they could not deduce an answer to this sudden strange behavior. Medical experts and sociologists then worked together to try to find a link between the people and the phenomenon. After obtaining the medical records of everyone found engaging in the behavior and running the information through a program designed to find patterns in the medical histories, we found a link. Everyone proven to be showing the strange behavior had at least one COVID-19 vaccine.

Upon this discovery, we began reaching out to people asking them to participate in a study regarding COVID-19 vaccines and their effects to which most of them were eager to stating they'd do anything to convince people to "trust the science". We began running medical tests such as blood work and brain scans but other than most male participants having lower-than-average testosterone levels, we could find no abnormalities that could explain their recent behavior. That is, until one of the medical staff got a phone call.

Recently, Moxistan has been establishing 5G infrastructure to catch up with nations that already have it and about a month before we began these tests, a 5G cell tower was constructed near UoM. Just around the time the strange phenomenon began.

Back to the studies, a medical worker received a call during a round of collecting blood samples and when her phone rang, the woman she was about to collect a blood sample from began to grunting and exhibiting jerky motions. The medical staff in the room tried to calm the participant down but she only got more agitated and wouldn't speak. Eventually, security was called but they failed to calm her down. They then decided to try to escort her away for the safety of everyone else but as one of the security officers went to restrain her, she leaped at the security officer biting him hard enough to cause bleeding. The other officer eventually managed to restrain the participant and put them in custody. After administering medical care to security officer that was attacked, he seemed fine. All staff and study participants went home for the day afterwards.

The next day, medical testing resumed. However, the security officer who was bitten the day before never showed up for work. The facility tried calling him but he would not pick up the phone. Some staff who knew of his social media accounts checked to see if he made any posts that could explain his absence. They found that he was active on social media but what they found was worrying. The security officer had been making constant posts on social media about various social issues and engaging in arguments. We also found that he had been doing this for 12 hours straight from when we discovered this. We then sent medical personnel with a defense unit to his house to check on him. Upon their arrival, he agreed to come to the facility for testing.

On the same day, we were trying to find out why the participant from the day before had attacked the security officer. We knew it possibly had some connection to the medical staff's phone ringing but we couldn't figure out how that could be the cause. We requested local defense agencies access to holding cells for experimentation on the participants to determine if we could replicate what happened the day before. The next day, we were granted permission to use a section of UoM's local defense agency's holding cells and we began running experiments.

Medical staff would call each other's phones in front of the participants testing if the event from two days ago could be replicated. We found that some participants did indeed begin to have spastic tantrums but it seemed to be random. Upon not having a conclusive pattern we thought maybe it had something to do with the phones. We began to discern the similarities and differences between all the staff's phones and quickly discovered that most of the phones that triggered the outbursts were newer models. We couldn't figure out what was special about the newer phones so we ended the experimentation for the day.

That night, I forwarded the research information to local tech expert Eugene H. Ackerman asking if he could figure out why the newer phone models would possibly trigger violent behavior in the study participants. He responded that the only thing different about the newer models that could have triggered something was the fact the newer models of phones had 5G bands. I sent this information to all of the people working on the study to arrange further testing the next day.

Using now only phones with 5G capability, we began testing and found that every participant began exhibiting violent behavior. There was now a clear pattern. We then had to find out why 5G phones were triggering these outbursts.

Throughout the ensuing week, the facility staff and I researched ways in which 5G could possibly have any effect on human behavior but could only find disinformation and blatantly false conspiracy theories. We also learned that the study participants that were triggered by the 5G phones hadn't recovered and the first woman and the security officer who were affected by this strange occurrence were displaying extreme lethargy and were completely non-communicative. They still displayed hostility and refused to eat anything but meat products too. When people tried to help them, the participants would attack in a shamble seemingly trying to bite the helpers. We then ordered strict monitoring and restrainment of all participants we got responses to 5G-capable phones from.

Finding no answers why this was happening, we continued with blood tests and brain scans including of the feral participants. We still could not find anything indicative of the behavior of the participants. We thought of other tests we could possibly perform until one of the medical staff brought up that COVID-19 vaccines were the link between the strange behavior in people that started this whole thing. We then determined that we needed to run tests on COVID-19 vaccines to hopefully find the answer to this whole mess. We collected samples of every variant of the vaccine and delivered them to the pharmaceutical research division of the university to be analyzed. What they discovered was shocking.

The pharmaceutical researchers, after initially finding nothing wrong, eventually discovered that there were nanomachines inside every single variant of the COVID-19 vaccine. We asked the manufacturers about the nanomachines but the only responses we got were legal threats over patent laws. Moxistan doesn't recognize any validity in patents, especially in what should be life-saving medical and pharmaceutical inventions that due to the existence of patents, keep prices high and people beholden to proprietary technology. Due to this, we were unfazed by these threats. We could not find a single answer as to why there were nanomachines in the vaccines.

We contacted Mr. Ackerman asking if he could help us reverse engineer the nanomachines to which he accepted. Shortly after Ackerman began working, he found that the nanomachines had the capability of receiving wireless signals. Later he deduced that 5G signals were what the nanomachines responded to. He then spent the rest of the say trying to use 5G to get anything he could use to reverse engineer computer code to analyze. It took him until the end of the day but he did manage to get something he could work with. We continued the next day.

Ackerman began to reverse engineer the code received from the nanomachines. It took a while but what we discovered was startling. We discovered that the nanomachines found in the vaccines would travel to the brain of the host and begin to influence various parts of human behavior. We then discovered that the reason 5G signals were causing violent outbursts was because 5G signals would both power and give instructions to the nanomachines. The nanomachines normally would only have enough power to cause minor influence over the host for long periods of time. 5G, powering these machines, because energy efficiency was no longer required, would send signals to manipulate the host at maximum capability. However, because this process would exhaust the host, they would eventually fall into a lethargic state unable to communicate with others. The massive tax on the brain of the host would also leave them craving nothing but flesh.

The vaccines, containing nanomachines, along with the amplification of the nanomachines' capability via 5G signals from phones created actual zombies.

Then a question came to my mind: how was the security officer turned into a host after being bit and why didn't we find nanomachines in the blood tests? I told the research team to look into this and they quickly found an answer. As it turns out, the nanomachines after a period of time would spread to all bodily fluids including saliva and because the woman that was the initial host bit the security officer hard enough to cause bleeding, fluid contact was made transferring nanomachines. I asked the research team also why we hadn't found nanomachines during blood test which they gave a simple response being that the tests conducted were in no way capable of detecting this sort of thing. After this, another question popped into my mind: how was the security officer turned when only a small fraction of the initial host's nanomachines could have been transferred? I asked Ackerman this question to which he answered that the nanomachines were capable of replication through the trace amounts of silicon in the body. I then realized that we were dealing with an full-on artificial virus.

Upon these discoveries, we contacted various pharmaceutical manufacturers, news agencies, and businesses authorized to administer vaccines warning them about the effects of the vaccines. All of them disregarded us as spreading fake news and we received further legal threats from the pharmaceutical companies. Moxistan News was the only news publication that would allow me to post my findings. There seems to be some kind of conspiracy going on involving nanomachines and these vaccines that is preventing me from publishing my findings.

With officials working in various parts of the Moxistani government being the only people to take my research seriously, the country began to dismantle its 5G infrastructure and requested that I find a way to prevent further zombification of those with the COVID-19 vaccine. Ackerman instantly came up with a solution that being to expose hosts of nanomachines to EMPs to effectively kill the nanomachines. This seemed to work as blood tests now capable of detecting nanomachines showed no signs of any during post-EMP tests. The hosts' behavior also returned to normal. People that had already turned into zombies were unable to be returned to normal. Upon be subjected to an EMP, they no longer had the ability to move and died within hours. Further testing showed that people turned into zombies developed a complete reliance on the nanomachines for survival. Brain scans also showed that their cerebral cortex had been completely destroyed. With all the research we needed from the zombies done, we ordered the termination of all the zombified subjects.

As of now, the zombie crisis has been resolved. All non-zombified hosts have been cured and all zombies have been terminated. Moxistan had a quick and effective response by dismantling all 5G infrastructure and banning all COVID-19 vaccines from the country. One unfortunate side effect from resolving this issue however was that the coffee industry crashed and many local coffee shops had to close down.